Effective Codependency And Boundaries Therapy In San Diego, CA

Welcome to North Star Therapy

Your guiding light in maneuvering through the maze of codependent behaviors and boundary setting. We provide a compassionate, safe haven for women just like you who are seeking understanding and change within their relationships.

Here, we delve into the roots of codependency with empathy and wisdom while teaching hands-on strategies to forge healthier boundaries. Let’s walk hand-in-hand on this empowering journey towards emotional liberation and more fulfilling relationships – because every woman deserves to live her life freely.

I used to think codependency meant…

… wanting to spend all your time with your crush. Then, I got more educated on the topic, and I couldn’t help but notice that codependency is EVERYWHERE (yes, including in myself).

This page is here because it feels almost criminal to me to be a female therapist and not address codependency because… well, it’s kind of an epidemic. Especially among females (thanks to a society that expects women to put others first and heavily reinforces this, even to their detriment).

And it’s not just exclusive to females. I’ve heard many men recount growing up in a home where their father figures were passive, didn’t express their emotions, and were the “chill” parent. This resulted in not setting boundaries about their desires or needs or doing anything to keep the peace, leading to resentment and avoidance.

Understanding Codependency

Signs and Symptoms

If you often overlook your own needs to cater to others, it’s possible that you are in a codependent unhealthy relationship. Overlooking personal emotions, feeling fearful of rejection or solitude, and carrying the burden of other’s joy are significant markers.

A continual behavior of pleasing others matched with an excessive reliance on relationships may end up disregarding self-nurture. Long-term stress and unease might also manifest physically through headaches, sleeplessness and gastrointestinal issues.

Recognizing these symptoms early can provide better opportunities for effective treatment.

Effects on relationships and well-being

Codependency can slowly erode your relationships when not addressed. It creates an unbalanced cycle in which one person becomes excessively dependent on the other for affirmation and emotional backing. This interaction can eventually drain both individuals’ resources, impacting their mental wellbeing and overall life quality.

Moreover, being in a codependent relationship is like attempting to satisfy an insatiable hunger. Regardless of how much you contribute or sacrifice, it’s never adequate. This continuous strain affects not only your emotional stability but also your physical health.

It’s vital to tackle these problems through therapy focused on codependency before they develop into more severe complications such as constant stress or depression.

Some clues that codependency might be an issue in your life…

Oh, and these things might happen with or without your knowing it!

Are you a perpetual peacemaker… chill, and neutral in pretty much every situation?

People love this about you and compliment you all the time for it. Maybe it’s your personality. Perhaps it’s that you are willing to be secretly uncomfortable so that others can be comfortable.

Maybe you grew up in a family with some chaos in it… like a parent that drank too much or someone who yelled a lot, and you developed this way of being in response to that. Maybe it’s just something you and your mom had in common, and that was a bonding point for you.

Are you a nurturer… focused on and attentive to everyone else’s needs?

In some ways, this is an extremely rewarding role. What would others do without you? Who would take care of them? No one can take care of them the way you can.

But why are you so focused on everyone else? Could it be because you are secretly afraid to deal with your own stuff or fear that, without this role, you wouldn’t be enough for others? But then… do you ever feel resentful that people aren’t doing the same for you as your needs go unmet again and again?

Do you trust others more than you trust yourself?

You might not think you do, but do you say things like “I’m not sure how to feel,” “I really don’t know what to think about that,” or “What should I do next?”

This often stems from a fear of disappointing others.

Do you say “yes” when you want to say “no,” or find yourself in situations over and over that make you feel resentful?

If you’re not accustomed to setting boundaries, you probably feel resentful and used… taken advantage of and drained. You may have even found yourself doing things that go against your morals and values, not because you wanted to, but because you were too afraid to say “no” or make someone else uncomfortable.

But it wasn’t that big of a deal, right? And technically, it’s not their fault – it’s mine because I didn’t tell them, right?

Always telling white lies or ghosting people because you can’t bear experiencing even slight disappointment from someone else?

…The list goes on and on, but hopefully, you’re getting the idea.

So, how do you fix this?!

Notice how I said “you” and not “we”?

And here’s the simple answer: boundary setting.

I will help you clarify where you are codependent and may not even know it, figure out your needs, and start getting them met.

Spoiler alert: A lot of it has to do with direct communication and working through why you’re allergic to disappointing others.

First, we’ll work together to help you identify what your feelings and needs are through enhancing your ability to gather data from your body and building up the core part of yourself that knows what you stand for, what your values are, and what you really desire. This part may currently be lacking or undernourished.

Then, we’ll identify areas in your life – work, relationships, etc. – where you’re feeling burnt out or resentful and work to strengthen or loosen boundaries that may contribute to these unwanted feelings or states of being. Don’t worry. We’ll start as small as practicing picking out an outfit on your own without others’ input or stating a small need you have and work our way up to potentially transforming relationships all around you!

The Importance of Boundary Setting

Benefits of setting healthy boundaries

Creating healthy boundaries enables individual growth and self-esteem. They allow us to assertively decline when necessary, minimizing the adverse influence of others on our mental well-being.

Defining explicit boundaries helps ward off emotional exploitation, manipulation, or toxic relationships while boosting our sense of self-value. Once robust personal boundaries are built, we will cultivate healthier relationships rooted in reciprocal respect and comprehension.

By avoiding codependence, we can preserve our personal identity and autonomy within any relationship without being consumed by someone else’s problems or feelings.

4 steps on how to establish and maintain boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships and personal well-being. Here are some steps to help you confidently maintain your boundaries and avoid unhealthy boundaries:

1. Reflect on your values

Take the time to understand what is important to you and what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable in different situations.

2. Communicate assertively

Clearly express your needs, wants, and limits to others in a direct but respectful manner. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory.

3. Be Consistent

Once you have set a boundary, stick to it consistently. This will help others understand that your boundaries are non-negotiable.

4. Practice Self-Care

Prioritize taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This includes setting aside personal time, saying no when necessary, and not overextending yourself.

Why Choose North Star Therapy Services?

At North Star Therapy, we offer a range of codependency therapy services to help you overcome dysfunctional relationships and develop healthy boundaries. Our experienced therapist, Gina Metcalf, LCSW, specializes in providing effective treatment for codependency.

Through personalized therapy for codependency sessions, we aim to create a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your unique challenges and work towards healing. Using evidence-based techniques and strategies, we will help you gain insight into the underlying causes of codependency and develop practical skills to establish healthy boundaries.

Our therapy services are tailored specifically for adult women who are seeking support in overcoming codependent patterns in their relationships. We understand that every individual is different, which is why our approach is personalized to meet your specific needs.

Whether you’re looking for individual counseling or group therapy sessions, North Star Therapy is here to guide you on your journey towards healthier relationships and personal empowerment.

Together, let’s create a brighter future filled with healthier relationships and personal empowerment.

Battle Codependency and Set Healthy Boundaries With Us Today!

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial in breaking free from codependent patterns. We believe that everyone deserves respect, autonomy, and personal space. Through our therapy services, we will help you develop strategies for establishing and maintaining boundaries that honor your needs while fostering healthier connections.

Choose North Star Therapy today to battle codependency head-on, gain valuable insights into yourself, and learn effective boundary-setting skills. Take control of your relationships and well-being – start your journey with us now!

Call me at (619) 663-6433 to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.