About Therapy

Maybe you’ve been in therapy for years, secretly wondering if it’s working.

You could be “performing” in therapy, telling your therapist what you think they want to hear. Or perhaps you don’t entirely go into the depths of things because of wanting to appear put together, not wanting to let your therapist down, or feeling self-conscious that your problems aren’t as bad as those of other people.

Maybe you’re noticing you dread going to therapy or are avoiding sessions because you’re unsure what to talk about or work on.

You’re even frustrated or angry that you’re not seeing the results you want because you don’t feel truly understood and aren’t getting helpful feedback – or maybe there’s no feedback at all.

So, if you’re feeling stagnant in therapy… or if you’re here considering therapy for the first time… you’ve come to the right place!

My style of therapy is different…

… from the traditional talk therapy that you may have experienced or seen in movies.

You know… where you spill your guts only to get minimal or invalidating feedback like “your thoughts are distorted.” Or there are lots of “mmhm’s,” head nodding, note-taking, or psychoanalyzing (maybe the fact that she likes mangos means she’s an extrovert that’s looking for her life’s purpose?).

As a therapist, I’m relatable, fun, confident, and will offer feedback (especially as we get to know each other) rather than treat you like a dry, clinical case that I’m trying to diagnose.

We’ll talk, but we’re going to slow down the process of talking…

… so that you can notice what’s going on at a body-based level. This is so important because to learn to regulate and have a better outcome than others who have experienced hard things, we must make sense of what has happened to us in our heads, hearts, and bodies. Sometimes, that involves catching the body and heart up to the head, leaving the head for a while to see what the body is doing, and ultimately integrating the head with the heart with the body to achieve emotional freedom.

What emotions or bodily sensations are coming up for you as you talk or think about this now?

Some things people notice when they focus their attention on the body are: holding their breath in and forgetting to breathe out, a clenching jaw, tightened fists, the tension in their shoulder/neck area (this is an area of the body where we store anger!), fidgeting hands or feet, and inwardly slouching shoulders (which can be a sign of wanting to protect ourselves). These subtle body cues are unconsciously sending messages to our brain to be on high alert, or maybe even that we’re ready for hibernation mode, which can elicit more depressive symptoms.

For example, you may notice that you feel the tension in your shoulder that you’ve never realized was there and the urge to avoid that body sensation. From just that action, we can explore where else the urge to avoid plays a part in your life and then change the pattern of avoidance by staying with the body sensation to see what happens when you continue to focus your attention and stay curious. This change in the process ultimately changes outcomes.

We might spend entire sessions realizing the unconscious processes manifesting in the body… and how those forces are operating in other parts of your life. Anxiety, depression, dissociation, “overachieving,” needing to be in control, perfectionism, feeling ashamed or inadequate, and choosing the “wrong” partners for relationships are just a few of the disturbances and problematic patterns that often have something much deeper at their roots.

Here’s another question you’ll often hear me ask:

What age goes with that thought, feeling, or behavior?

By bringing awareness to the age of thought, feeling, or behavior, you’re able to understand things like anxiety and depression as states of being that are frozen in time. Together, we’ll take these parts from misunderstood and stuck to free and helping you live your best life!

We’ll develop your wisest, most adult parts so that younger, more scared parts won’t be unconsciously running your life anymore.

You may be surprised at what you learn about yourself in our sessions.

Clients will learn how to track their nervous systems and better regulate their mind, heart, and body. They will learn how to trust their intuition and decipher what you actually want versus what others want. We will connect how past events are affecting you today and explore the things that brought you into therapy from a totally different perspective. You will learn to love, accept, nurture and have gratitude for even the darkest parts of yourself that have been ignored or pushed down for years.

My clients often report instant relief or insight about things they have been struggling with for years.

About Me

I’m the kind of person who craves personal evolution and growth.

I used to meet this need by pushing myself into situations outside my comfort zone, such as moving abroad for years at a time and trying out various career paths like providing psychological services to Nigerian sex workers in Spain and working in high schools in Australia with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander youth.

Through experiences like these, my awareness of my own unique intersections, community, and place in the world was heightened, humbled, questioned, broken down, and re-grown (still growing, by the way!). Though that might sound extreme, I view this as a healthy process to understand my privilege and own shit that I’m bringing to the table as best as I can.

Much to My Surprise, I’m Back In My Native City of San Diego

It’s a surprise because I am almost allergic to complacency, and settling in my hometown sounds way too close to complacency for comfort. But actually, the opposite – growth – has been abundant.

Through my own therapy, I understand that underlying the moving and shaking things up every two years was the fear that I alone, with no stories of adventure or “cool” experiences, was not enough and that it feels very vulnerable out there in the world with just my little self and me.

Thus began my rooting down process to find out what actually sustains me from the inside out when all the glamor and allure of constant adventure and change fall away.

It turns out I became aware of two very persistent parts anxious to be brought to life: spirituality and entrepreneurship. I’ve spent the last few years cultivating both these parts and am so glad they finally have solid roles in my life!

The third big thing that came out of rooting down was getting married. As a self-proclaimed commitment-phobe, this one was HUGE. I am beyond grateful to have a wonderful husband who has given me a ton of space to be uncertain and has also taught me to communicate about absolutely everything while providing unconditional safety and grace. This is coming from a girl whose life motto used to be “avoid and deny,” struggled to say ANYTHING to ANYONE, and relied on shutting down, running away, giving the silent treatment, and being passive-aggressive. So yeah, huge.

I’m Mexican-American and Bilingual in English and Spanish

This has shaped my personality a lot because I’ve always felt like an insider and an outsider.

I always went to schools outside my neighborhood and had friends, but I never felt complete “in” because of where I lived and either being too rich or too poor or not Mexican enough or not White enough or speaking Spanish that was too good or too bad.

Never totally feeling like an insider growing up brought feelings of shame and gave me the option of never getting too close and thus too hurt. It allowed me to be fluid in my opinion and perspectives, but that also hindered my ability to be decisive or declarative in my beliefs.

A background in two cultures and languages has helped me connect with many types of people from all over the world, but it also makes me feel pressured to click with anyone.

When I’m not doing therapy…

I love going to the beach, riding my bike, traveling, and being in the sunshine!

You might also find me doing yin yoga, Pilates, or meditating.

I also enjoy cooking, hanging out with family and friends, watching TV (not the coolest thing to say, but I’ve got to be real that I do love TV), and consuming content about how to level up all parts of my life!

Much to My Surprise, I’m Back In My Native City of San Diego

Because of my ability to fit in almost anywhere with anyone, the concept of not being someone that everyone liked was foreign and terrifying. After all, that trait was a huge part of my identity.

Years ago, I was in Costa Rica with a new group of people. One of my new outspoken, controversial friends, whom I really liked and admired, said something about disliking neutral, people-pleasing contestants on the show The Bachelor (leave it to The Bachelor to spark conversation!). I remember reacting to the internal horror of being found out as one of these people, but that is genuinely the first time the concept of not being liked by everyone was framed as a positive for me. It planted a seed that I’ve been actively watering and nurturing since.

Next, I was introduced to the concept of codependency. To quote Mean Girls, I felt personally victimized. And then I realized its rampancy, and I couldn’t unsee it in my life and the lives of others. Thus, the caterpillar has been slowly and painstakingly growing into a butterfly (progress, not perfection, am I right?)

Are you ready to be that amazing and inspiring adult that the child you were always wanted to be?

I’m also sure the future you will appreciate the now you making this call. Your life could look different in just a few months!

Schedule a FREE 20-minute phone consultation with me today to begin your exciting journey to healing! (619) 663-6433

What will we talk about during the phone consultation?

I’ll ask questions about what brings you to therapy, how long you’ve been feeling this way, what you’re hoping to get out of therapy, and what’s stopping you from getting there on your own. You’ll also have a chance to ask me questions. By the end of the call, we’ll determine if we’re a good fit.

From there, we can figure out scheduling and the next steps.