Building Self-Esteem

“I wish I had just an ounce of their confidence!”

Do you know someone or have you ever met someone and think that to yourself?

You wish you had more self-confidence and didn’t feel like an imposter when making important decisions such as a career change or identifying quality romantic partners and friends.

If you haven’t done this type of work, you’re likely doubting your intuition, wondering how others are making big moves or progressing in their lives, or living your life on others’ terms.

Maybe you’ve wanted to ask for a different position within your company for years, but something holds you back. Or perhaps you know you’re in unhealthy relationship patterns or choosing the wrong people over and over. Is this your wisest adult part choosing these people, or is it maybe a five-year-old part with attachment wounding that needs reassurance that your wise adult self can take control of this area of life from now on?

Something is just off…

… but you don’t really know what it is, and you find yourself knowingly or unknowingly entering relationships that aren’t the jam and feeling like a passive player in your life instead of an active one.

Your norm is feeling empty or like there’s not anything to attach to internally.

You often avoid the harsh reality that not being the best adult you can be is actually devastating for you at a core level. You’re a person who wants to squeeze all the juice out of life, and these pain points might cause you anxiety or depression. There’s such a disconnect between your potential and your reality.

Coping looks like ignoring your intuition, pushing down your desires, and surrounding yourself with people who validate or perpetuate your complacency, or if we’re honest, your depression.

You’re plagued by thoughts like “I could never be a person like that” or “It’s just not possible for me.” Accompanying these thoughts are feelings of shame, anger, sadness, and resentment. As a result, you end up stuck and in the role of a helpless victim once again.

What is this wisest self, anyway?

Different types of therapies describe it differently, but essentially it is the part of us that is all-knowing and impervious to limiting beliefs, old stories we’ve told ourselves for years, past traumas, suffering, and when accessed, acts as our guidance system.

No matter what happens to us, this part gently pulls us forward, keeps us going, and knows our greatest purpose in life. This is the part that needs to be accessed to build and grow our self-esteem.

So, how do we access our wisest selves?

Together, we’ll identify moments you’ve felt it – or, at the very least, been in charge and at peace.

For example, you’re terrified of public speaking, but remember that time you stood up in front of the class and presented a project flawlessly? Or that time when you knew exactly what to do to protect your child? Learning how to call on that part when you need it is what we’re after.

I’ll guide you through visualizations and exercises to enhance your wisest self.

For example, you’ll identify what strengths and qualities you would like to invite into your life. Next, you’ll visualize when you have successfully used each of those strengths/qualities in the past and how you can use them presently or in the future, giving each one a symbol. Then create a full team to support you that you can call on day-to-day.

Once you realize and are in tune with your wisest self…

You can start to live your life from this part more and more consciously. And it can be fun… like learning how to step into an alter-ego with all the qualities and strengths of those you admire most.

As this part gets more integrated, your other parts begin to understand that it’s not a stranger – it’s you. Suddenly, it becomes clear that the primary thing setting you and your idols apart is that they believe they can be a leader, a loving partner, an entrepreneur, etc.

You’ll find yourself with a new story and belief system… and deep love, gratitude, and understanding of your inner world and true self.

When you’re in tune with your wisest self, you can recognize when a behavior or pattern is coming from a wounded part or your wisest part. If it comes from a wounded part, you will learn skills to know that, calm that part down, and shift back into your wise part. The impact of this can lead to more alignment between your values, wants, and needs and external factors like your job and relationships.

Know yourself and live a life that celebrates your worth and value.

This deep, internal work gives life to your self-esteem and increases your ability to identify and follow your intuition.

“Choose anything but remaining complacent in your pain.”

–Sarah Blondin

Start your growth and journey to unlocking your inner guidance system in as little as one session!

Call me at (619) 663-6433 to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.